Teach them the importance of the church by committing to attend. They need to see that church is a non-negotiable part of our lives and that God comes first in all things. When attendance is optional and we let all kinds of other activities take precedence, we shouldn’t be surprised when the church doesn’t matter to them as they become independent and make their own decisions.
Teach them what matters in a church by your choice of where to attend. If you choose a congregation because the lessons make you feel good, their takeaway will be that making people feeling good is the point of the church. If you choose one because of the offerings they’ve catered to you, you teach them that the church is an organization that is there to serve the individual rather than the other way around. If you choose one purely because it’s a convenient distance from home, they’ll learn that the character of the church matters far less than our own comfort.
When it’s time to choose a congregation to be a part of, two reasons should outrank all the others: biblical teaching and opportunities to serve. From these they’ll learn that the Bible is of utmost importance and that we are servants of the church, not customers.
Teach them by your words the value of your church family. If they hear us lifting up our church family in prayer, speaking well of them, and praising them, they will see the value of having a church family. On the other hand, if they hear us picking apart the preacher or the song leader or sharing the latest gossip or speaking negatively about our fellow members, it will teach them all kinds of bad attitudes. It will teach them to think of themselves as superior to others. It will teach them to be judgmental. And, ultimately, it will teach them to have little value or love for their church family.
Instead, we must find ways to teach our children to love the people who make up the church. Speak highly of your brothers and sisters. See the good. Encourage them and build them up when you’re together. Though the people around us are never perfect, we can teach our children to love as Jesus loved by caring about our church family. And, we teach them humility and grace when we show them the importance of loving people through the ups and downs.
Teach them by your fellowship that the church truly is a family. When we tell people that church is a family and then only see each other briefly each week, know little about each other, and rarely help build each other up and bear each other’s burdens, they’ll start to see “church family” as little more than a weak metaphor. Teach your kids that you mean it when you call your fellow members your family.
