Imagine starting marriage counseling by asking the prospective bride: “Are you ready to call him lord?” referring to her boyfriend.
The reaction you would likely receive would be visceral and immediate. After recoiling, they would likely inform you very quickly that the only Lord they serve is Jesus Christ. Well, some would. Others would likely sit and stew as they crossed their arms, revealing they aren’t about to allow anyone to take their current position of being number one in their own eyes. These narcissistic individuals have bought into the idea that the world revolves around them, and as such, they will serve no one.
When you point out that God instructs the man to be the earthly head over his wife many ladies refuse, ripping Ephesians 5:21 out of context and demanding mutual submission. If one were to continue reading in Ephesians 5 theywould discover the Bible clearly depicts a hierarchy with Christ as the church, and the husband as the head of the wife. In 1 Peter 3:6 “as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”
The reason many women recoil at the very thought of calling their husbands lord is because they have been influenced and impacted by radical feminism and our culture. For more than fifty-years femvertising—that is, advertising that sells the concept of empowerment—has dominated our media. We’ve gone beyond Rosie the riveter’s message of “We can do it” to feminist author and tenured professor Vivan Gornick’s message of, “Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession…the choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family-maker is choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”
At some point in this empowerment movement women began craving work outside the home. They longed for independent careers, claiming equal rights and equal pay. (Let me calmly point out a real biblical worldview clearly teaches fair compensation, “a worker is worth their wages.” 1 Timothy 5:18). But the unstated message that was being preached over and over is that a woman is incomplete if all she does is manages the home and rears children. They were silently—but effectively—brewing discontentment in the hearts of many Christian women.
Fast-forward 50 years and we see their revolution has been extremely successful in many ways. Women have abandoned the home. They are hiring others to raise their children. They are competing in every aspect of the workforce. They, too, are bringing home the bacon.
But has it really been a success? A recent American Family survey found liberals, especially liberal women, are significantly less likely to be happy with their lives and satisfied with their “mental health”, compared to their conservative peers aged from 18-55.
Survey after survey is finding women not really satisfied, as they realize you “can’t have it all.” Julie Bindel recently published an article in Aljazeera titled, “Liberal feminism has failed women,” pointing out that many of the crazy practices of feminists actually benefit men.
What all of the studies and articles fail to point out is that God’s plan—if followed—is both empowering and fulfilling. When you read about the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 you do not get a sense of discontentment or a woman screaming, “My body, my choice.” Instead, we read, “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:27-28).
Christian women would do well tuning out the femvertising pushed on them by our culture, and instead look at women in the Bible like Hannah and Mary—women who humbly set about being good mothers. Instead of kicking against the goads in rebellion, we need to raise up a generation of women who realize their power comes from harnessing meek and gentle spirits that are willing to train up the next generation of warriors for Him!
Only one thought (as a woman). As these tools of Satan evolved in our society, so did the role and character of men. It is all too common for men to be unable to support a family, for whatever reasons — sometimes very legitimate reasons. In these cases women must work outside the home. It is all too common for men to be unfaithful, and/or abusive. In these cases, many women are left single mothers and must work outside the home.
Many of all these are in our churches and among those we reach out to with the Gospel. They are often completely overlooked in sermons, classes and writing on the scriptural ideal. I have seen too much of this firsthand.
The Lord loves and cares for the worst cases and provides a way for them, which is not always the ideal. They need the love and acknowledgement of their brothers and sisters in Christ. Please address the whole picture. Thank you.
Agree wholeheartdly. While I know women sometimes have to work, God’s ideal is for hwer to be ss the woman in Proverbs.And if I read that right she put her household first.
Hi, I used to love your articles, but I sincerely think you all should get out of your “boxes” and look outside of the community you are living in. There are hundreds of thousands of women who would love to have a husband to call “lord.” Yet these single mothers have been left to fend for themselves and their kids, They would love to stay home and take care of their household, but the father of their kids is nowhere to be found. Some of these women are black and poor; some are Asian and poor; some are mixed race and poor. Some are Caucasian and poor. Many are in urban or rural communities where they can barely pay their rent because wages are extremely low and they can’t get a college education because they can’t get to college and watch their kids. Please start looking outside your small, secure world and take a look at what’s happening across the nation, at communities and neighborhoods that are not idyllic, white and pristine. Thank you.
The fact that not everyone can does not mean we should abandon a Biblical vision for what we can strive for. I know plenty of families who could not achieve it in their generation, but passed this Biblical thinking on to their kids. Those kids are now reaping the benefits of their parents holding onto Biblical ideals. That’s why we do it.
Also, nobody brought race into this but you. Please get out of that habit.
The reason a lot of these women you mention are now single mothers is because they ended up pregnant (fornication) and married the man before really getting to know him., If Biblical principles were followed, they would not be in this situation. And I seriously doubt that many of them would really love to be home taking care of the household. Marriage takes work from both the man and woman. I can see what is happening across the nation. God is not revered, nor is His word. This is what is happening now. It has nothing to do with race. People don’t even bother with getting married now, and go from partner to partner, hoping they will find the right one, but they are not looking for a godly man to be their mate. That would solve a lot of problems if both men and women would do this. I am white, but I do not live in an idyllic and pristine neighborhood.