If you aim at nothing, you will hit it. That is a fact. Parents have been given the highly rewarding, yet highly critical responsibility of rearing godly children. Children are a “gift of the Lord.” As with any gift God has blessed us with, He expects us to be good stewards of what He has placed in our hands. Parenting involves stewardship. More precisely, it involves rearing God’s children according to His Word. By doing this, we give these precious ones back to Him.
In 1 Samuel 1 we meet Hannah. We learn that the Lord had closed her womb and this caused her to be greatly distressed. She deeply longed for a child to hold, to nurture, to provide for, to teach, and to rear. To make matters worse, her rival Peninnah, the other wife of Elkanah, would bitterly irritate Hannah, mocking and ridiculing her because she was barren. Year after year as Hannah would go up to the house of the Lord, Peninnah would provoke her to tears. Hannah would get so upset and distraught that she wouldn’t even eat. One day Hannah arose and went to the temple. Still greatly distressed and longing for a child, she knelt down and prayed.
Through her tears she petitioned God, “O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your maidservant and remember me, and not forget your maidservant, but will give your maidservant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life …” (1 Samuel 1:11). Hannah made a vow with the Lord. In a way, she struck a deal—“Give me a child and I will give him back to you.” In verse 20 we learn that “… it came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, saying, ‘Because I have asked him of the Lord’” [The name Samuel means “heard of God”]. True to her word, Hannah did just as she had promised.
In verses 27 and 28 Hannah states, “For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.” Hannah’s vow should be our vow—to rear our children as if they belong to the Lord. If they are like arrows in our hands, as Psalm 127:4 suggests, then we must launch them in the proper direction and aim them at the proper target.
Our children’s spiritual destiny is in our hands. We have a tremendous power of influence while they are young and under our care. Yes, they will grow into adults and will have the freedom to exercise their own volition, but our mission is to lay the foundation when they are young so that they will be self-governing spiritually when they leave the home. Therefore, we need to be teaching them about God and His will for their lives. This will obviously require great effort on our part. It will demand the utmost time and attention. And it will most assuredly require discipline. One of the most effective ways to kill our kids spiritually is by having no boundaries in the home. Godly parenting involves teaching our children the importance of accountability, and that always involves discipline.
Discipline has garnered a negative connotation in our culture these days. There are some parents who apparently avoid it at all costs. Some lack the fortitude to carry it out effectively. Others simply disagree as to the form, i.e. spanking versus a “time-out.” It cannot be denied, however, that God the Father is a disciplinarian. Proverbs 3:12 reads, “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Also, in Hebrews 12:7 8 we read, “If you endure chastening, God deals with you as sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.” The trials that come upon the Christian are meant for our training. They allow one to grow spiritually. This chastening may not be enjoyable at the time, but the strengthening of character that it produces is something we can look back on with favor. Without question, divine discipline serves an eternal purpose.
If we truly love our children, then we will make every effort to correct them, instruct them, and admonish them. Failure to do so could lead them into spiritual ruin. Of course, it is vital that we understand the purpose of discipline. The Greek word commonly used for discipline in the New Testament is paideuo, which translates “chasten” or “chastise.” This word primarily denotes the training of children. It can refer to “correcting with words,” “reproving” and “admonishing” as in 2 Timothy 2:25. The noun form, paideia, denotes “the training of a child, including instruction,” hence, “discipline” and “correction” or “nurture” (Ephesians 6:4). An understanding of discipline and its purpose reveals that, regardless of the method, it should always be motivated by love and for the ultimate good of the recipient.
The question becomes, “Should discipline include corporal punishment?” There are many “experts” who with great vigor and passion say, “Absolutely not!” They equate spanking with violence and hitting. They deem it as barbaric and uncivilized. Some even depreciate corporal punishment to the level of child abuse. Since we are rearing God’s children, our only interest and our only aim should be to discipline in a manner that He has prescribed, and Scripture itself prescribes corporal punishment as an effective form of discipline: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24).
In Proverbs 22:15 it states, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” These passages may not be popular in an anti-spanking culture; however, our primary concern should never be the dictates of the world but rather the dictates of our Lord. If God has sanctioned something, then it is irrelevant what culture thinks about it. There are a couple of things worth noting when it comes to the issue of corporal punishment.
First of all, spanking is, by no means, the only form of discipline parents can or should administer. There are many other viable methods that, when carried out consistently and effectively, will bring about a desired response. The removal of privileges, for instance, may be a worthy method depending on the offense. Not all forms of disobedience warrant spanking, and those who utilize spanking responsibly will attest that they rarely have to administer it.
Secondly, parental discipline should not be administered in a fit of rage. Remember, discipline should be motivated by love with the purpose of teaching. Discipline that is abusive is detrimental to the child because it destroys the nurturing environment that Paul speaks of in Ephesians 6:4. Child abuse, in whatever form, is from Hell.
Rearing God’s children must include teaching them about accountability. If we are blessed to see our children grow and mature then, at some point, they will be held accountable for their sins. God’s Word is clear that there is an eternal weight tied to the decisions that we make throughout our lives. Parental stewardship demands that we teach our children about the glorious riches of eternal life with the heavenly Father, as well as the devastating consequences of disobedience to His will. Let’s make certain that our aim is true and that we are launching these precious arrows toward the bull’s eye—Heaven!
By Chris McCurley
This article first appeared in Think magazine. For more info, or to subscribe, click here.
