By Brad Harrub, Ph.D
Having looked into the tearful eyes of parents whose children have abandoned the Faith, I have learned there are a million miles between our children “going through the motions” in reference to their spiritual lives versus our children possessing hearts that dictate their actions. In this column, I plan to share with you what I hope to instill in the hearts of my own children and those whom I love.
One of the costs of living in a technologically advanced world is the constant urgency we place on everything. Regular “snail mail” shipping is no longer good enough—we order something online and we want it instantly (or at least within 48 hours!). Our society has become impatient as we hustle and bustle about in our daily walks.
But all of this rushing about and technological advances have resulted, in many cases, in weakened personal relationships. Simply put we don’t have time for people anymore—and when we do interact, often, it is in a negative fashion. We are quick to get angry and in many cases self-restraint has been thrown to the wind. People are quick to point out the negative in others or unleash anger on someone who didn’t live up to expectations. Sadly, our country seems content to raise a generation of self-absorbed individualists rather than to heal a broken nation.
In a day in which a Facebook post can instantly dissolve friendships, and intolerance of Biblical convictions seems to be the rule rather than the exception, the world is in desperate need of longsuffering. It is a word that is not used often, but is frequently mentioned in the Bible. It is one of those words we hear occasionally, but don’t hear too many lessons on.
Here is what I intend to teach my children about longsuffering.
Part of our goal in life is to become less like the world and more and more like God as we draw closer to Him. One of the characteristics of God found in both the Old Testament and New Testament is longsuffering (e.g., Exodus 34:6; Number 14:18; Psalms 86:15; Romans 2:4; 9:22; 2 Corinthians 6:6; Colossians 1:11; 1 Peter 3:20; 2 Peter 3:15). When you were young, you memorized the “Fruits of the Spirit” and it is no mistake that long-suffering is included in that list (Galatians 5:22-23). But what does this word really mean?
The actual Greek word is Makrothumia. Makro is commonly translated “long” and Thumos is translated “temper.” It is literally the opposite of short-tempered. This quality defines someone who is not quick to anger and uses self-restraint. The Apostle Paul instructed the Christians at Colossae, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;” (Colossians 3:12). He also mentioned this quality to the Christians at Ephesus: “with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,” Ephesians 4:2. In fact, this trait is so important that Paul informed young Timothy that Jesus Christ had shown a pattern for longsuffering for us to follow (1 Timothy 1:16).
Longsuffering is a character trait that must be developed—and should not be dependent on how someone else treats you. Consider God’s longsuffering of mankind. It requires persistence and a desire to be more pleasing to God. This is one of those traits that your dad still has to work on, even as an adult—but I can tell you it does get easier with time.
There will be many occasions in your life where disagreements come up. How you deal with those disagreements is a reflection of you and tells a person how well you practice this godly trait of longsuffering. 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that longsuffering is “love” on trial. While getting angry and shouting may make your point, it also says a lot about you as a person—and whether you are cultivating the fruits of the Spirit. Are you thinking more about self, or treating others as you would have them treat you (Matthew 7:12)?
It won’t take you long in life to realize there are many people who you will disagree with over various subjects. How do you think God would have you react in these situations? Before you respond in haste remind yourself how you would feel if every time you made a mistake God quickly rebuked you. Practice longsuffering and you will quickly discover that the ability to demonstrate self-restraint will be beneficial in all walks of life—work, church, and family. At the end of the day remember it’s not about rushing here and there and having things your way—but rather it’s about the souls of men.
Love,
Dad
