Television and internet video outlets like YouTube and Netflix have become a staple in home lives all across the globe in the past few decades. Not only has it been a staple amongst families recently, but it’s been a staple for many since childhood or even earlier.
I don’t watch much “tweenage” (ages 9-12) programming anymore, but I remember back a couple months ago when my friends and I were flipping through channels on a TV to find something to watch. We landed on a popular network that happened to have a show I knew of airing at the time. On this particular episode of this show, a pair of siblings were not getting along, and the mom had to resort to drastic discipline–literally clearing their room out leaving only sleeping bags–to get them to stop fighting. The kids attempted to “fake” being nice to each other in order to win back their toys and rooms, and while the dad was falling for it, the mom was not, and she was seen as less of a parent trying to teach her children something and more of a drill sergeant.
Are you seeing the stereotypes? The kids are portrayed as smarter than the parents, the mom is shown as an overtly uptight disciplinarian to the point of near villainy, and the dad is seen as oblivious to it all.
Readers, I feel that this is painting a distorted picture of what a family is meant to look like and how it’s supposed to function. For the purposes of this post, I’m grouping these stereotypes under what I personally call the TV Family Syndrome.
So, how do we fight against this negative view that the media is showing us? How do we show our fellow family members how a real family lives with, interacts with, respects, and loves one another?
Dads, love your wives, teach your children, and lead them as head of the household.
I myself am not a dad, nor will I ever be one. However, just by observing, I can tell you that there’s something to be said about fathers taking their place as head of the household. As a daughter, I can say that it means the world to see my dad lead both our house and within his leadership capacities at work and at church.
The Bible places a massive emphasis on men having leadership roles in the church and in the home, and the emphasis is not mutually exclusive, but rather God-given. Along with leadership, men are called to be loving husbands (Ephesians 5:25; Colossians 3:19) and peaceable but strong fathers, called to train their children in the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
Moms, respect your husbands, and teach and nurture the children in your household.
Again, by observation, I’ve noticed that families run a lot more smoothly when not only the father takes his place as a leader, but also when the mother takes her place as a helpmeet and nurturer. As a daughter, I am proud of my mom for being so supportive of not only my dad, but also of me; she rallies for all three of us, as well as those in our extended family.
Wives are called to be a helpmeet to begin with; this is evident from the creation of man onwards (Genesis 2:4-25). But beyond that, women are supposed to support and respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:22, 24; Colossians 3:18), and they are to love their husbands and children as well (Titus 2:4).
Children of all ages, respect your parents and their authority, and follow God’s commandments as well.
Finally, it’s worth mentioning that as children are part of family units across the globe, they also have roles to fulfill. Being a child–no matter the age–involves respecting and obeying one’s parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).
No one likes discipline or negative consequences, no matter what their age may be. However, if those consequences and disciplinary actions lead to children being led and trained in the admonition of the Lord, so be it (Hebrews 12:11). Based on scripture, Godly discipline leaves zero room for wrath or anger (Ephesians 6:4). While I’m not a parent myself, I was a child once, and I cannot be more proud of my own parents for the way they raised me.
Now, as I conclude this post today, I want to make something clear: not all families are going to follow this exact pattern of Dad leading, Mom submitting and nurturing, and children obeying parental authority. It’s just a fact that the world we live in is not perfect, and we should not expect it to be so, since it’s not our final home. I also don’t want to criticize anyone’s parenting style at all; I’m just speaking from my own experience as well as drawing from God’s commandments for family roles as they are presented in the Bible.
I just say all of this to say that we as Christians can beat the stereotypes that are presented in the media. We don’t have to have bumbling dads, nagging moms, and excessively rebellious kids. TV and movies tend to present caricatures of what the real world is like, and it’s high time that we present ourselves as Christlike examples in this world that we live in, no matter what our roles may be.
By Savannah Cottrell
