Growing up in the South, I was taught to say “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” to anyone and everyone older than me, regardless of race or whether or not they were my parents or anyone else. No matter where you are in the world, teaching and learning to respect others is of paramount importance, and growing up, I learned just how much people appreciate that. Respect isn’t just for parents, teachers, bosses, or authority that only directly applies to you; it’s for everybody, and I’m so glad that I learned that at a young age. I can remember as a child hearing people compliment me – and then my mom or dad – on how polite I was when I did say “yes ma’am” or “yes sir.”

Then, there were situations when I thought I said “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” too much. The situations would vary, from accidentally saying “yes ma’am” to a man or “yes sir” to a woman, or saying it to someone around my age or just a few years older as opposed to someone around my parents’ age or a few years younger or older.

In today’s culture, those words have all but disappeared and some act as though it’s strange to be polite and respectful. So, this brings up an important question – Does it ever become “uncool” to respect someone? Can we “over-respect”?

Before we answer that specific question, let’s talk about the importance of respect in scripture and draw some answers from God’s Word on the subject.

Respect for specific people is outlined in Scripture.

The amazing thing about the Bible is that though it was put together centuries and centuries ago, due to its inspired nature, it can always relate to us today. In the Old Testament, one of the Ten Commandments is specifically to “honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12a). Later on in the New Testament, that is expanded upon; “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). But parents aren’t left out of the equation, either; “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Neither are slaves to their masters: “Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ” (Ephesians 6:5). Also, let’s not forget that wives are to submit to their husbands, and husbands are to love their wives in return (Ephesians 5:22-25).

The point we should get here is that God wanted no stone left unturned as far as respect goes, and He made sure that the authors He inspired got that message across loud and clear.

Jesus respected everyone.

Jesus was no respecter of persons; He made sure everyone was accounted for and respected, from the common citizen (Matthew 15:30) to women (John 4:1-26) to tax collectors (Luke 19:1-10). And He did not allow stress to get the better of Him when crowds became too much; He simply withdrew to pray whenever He needed time alone (Matthew 14:22-23).

Jesus should be our example and standard in all things, and respect is no exception. Respect is a way we can fulfill the second of the greatest commandments: loving our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31). Speaking of love…

Respect is a form of love.

Earlier, I mentioned Ephesians 5:22-25, a passage on wives submitting to their husbands, and husbands loving their wives in return. I’m bringing it back up in our discussion because it’s important to know that we should do all things in love, the way Christ showed love to us and to His church. When we respect someone, we’re showing love to them, whether it’s through recognizing them as having authority and wisdom (“yes ma’am”, “yes sir”), offering to help them with whatever they’re working on, or even just listening to them in conversation. Respect goes a long, long way, longer than any of us can see at first glance.

Not only should our respect be out of love for one another, but it should be done for His glory (1 Peter 4:11), and not for our own selfish gain or as a way to climb our way to the heights of whatever social ladder we choose here on this earth. Because, ultimately, we’re not just respecting people…we’re showing respect to our God (Matthew 25:31-46).

At the end of the day, we can safely answer the question of whether or not “over-respect” is possible with a clear, resounding no.

With this in mind, and regardless of whether or not you use “yes ma’am” or “yes sir”, we should go forth and respect others the way we want to be respected (Matthew 7:12), and in the way Christ would want us to respect.

By Savannah Cottrell