We learn from an early age that telling the truth isn’t always easy. Some children learn to lie not long after they learn to talk, because they realize admitting to breaking a rule means they’ll be in trouble. That pull to be dishonest or to hide from the truth isn’t one that goes away. In fact, it multiplies itself into different, more subtle, more palatable forms.
We might find ways to convince ourselves that everyone else is wrong and we aren’t. We might think people will like us more if we refuse to disagree with them. We might decide that people will have a positive view of the church if we shelter them from the Bible’s less popular teachings. But the more we get in the habit of telling the truth, even when it’s difficult, the more we find out just how powerful the truth is to make our lives more Christlike.
The truth improves us. It may not be stated as such, but these days it’s almost viewed as a positive to lie to yourself. We are told to affirm to ourselves that we are amazing and perfect just the way we are, that we shouldn’t ever change. Unless you’re Jesus, we all have room to grow and change. We all have selfish tendencies and sinful pulls that have to be confronted, and if we aren’t honest with ourselves we’ll never improve. Sometimes we need to be frank with ourselves and take responsibility for those things we can improve.
This is what James was talking about in James 1:18-25. We need to be quick to hear truth from God even when it challenges us, we need to be slow to speak in defense, and we need to be slow to get angry when it steps on our toes. From that basis we can be hearers and doers of the Word who are compelled to change like a person who sees a blemish in the mirror.
Other times we need to be honest with ourselves about God’s love for us and the value He places on us. Some people know all too well that they need to change and improve, but an over-emphasis on that in their lives keeps them from feeling whole. It makes them feel as though they have to earn their value. That’s when we need truths like Romans 5:6-8 and Ephesians 2:3-7 that tell us that even at our worst God loved us more than we could ever fathom. Truth strengthens us.
The truth improves our personal relationships.
The call to love one another gives us our guidelines for speaking truth with one another. Sometimes loving one another means bearing with one another and tolerating each other despite our differences. Other times, like when someone is repeatedly taking advantage of you or hurting you, loving them means doing the difficult work of lovingly confronting them with the truth about their actions. The easiest thing to do in such situations is to either let it go on indefinitely or to just avoid the person, but that’s not love. It’s convenience. Love means being truthful with each other.
There are two alternatives to being truthful with each other. The first would be to retreat within ourselves and pretend it doesn’t bother us, which makes for shallow, joyless relationships based on dishonesty. The second would be to cut off ties with people every time they frustrate us, which puts an inevitable expiration date on every relationship we have. Healthy friendships, marriages, business partnerships, and family/church relationships need to be able to withstand the truth and flourish from its presence.
The truth improves our church family.
For church leaders it can be incredibly easy to avoid “stepping on toes.” Confronting people for their sins might cause them to leave! Telling members they need to be more committed might make them upset! And, sadly, for some preachers speaking the truth might put their job on the line.
But what good are we doing anyone if we make them feel comfortable by taking away the discomforting thorn that truth can sometimes be? Jesus did not mince words with His potential followers. In Luke 9:23 He told them that to follow Him meant taking up a cross daily. They would have known exactly what He meant. At the end of that same chapter He turned away people who weren’t 100% committed to Him. Jesus was incredibly patient with people, but He didn’t shield them from difficult truths.
This doesn’t mean we need to become the kind of congregations that constantly hammer people and make them feel like no amount of obedience is good enough. On the other hand, we do need to let them know what they’re signing up for, and we need to let them know when they are straying off track. Shielding them from the truth so they think we’re nice people doesn’t help them, it doesn’t help us, and it doesn’t point people to the holiness of God.
Of course, the need to speak truth goes hand in hand with the need for love. We’re all prone to fall into 1 of 2 errors when it comes to speaking the truth in love: leaving out the “speaking the truth” part, or leaving out the “in love” part. Following Jesus means we’ll fight the urge to go one way or the other. People need the truth, but they are far more likely to accept difficult truths if we show them that it’s coming from a place of love.
Truth and love are the two essential building blocks of a Christian life. We know we need to be loving – nobody disputes that. What’s important is that we not buy in to the popular but woefully misguided idea that we’re better off without the truth.
