By Jim Mettenbrink
Often we humans make the mistake thinking that the genders’ makeup is very much alike. However, the difference is noticeable even at a very young age. On the playground of five-year olds, the boys are combative, individually imagining dragons to fight, and the girls sit in a group chatting with one another. However, beginning in their teen years, the differences are more profound.
One of these gender differences is sexual desire! It is God-given and good. However, according to His design that men and women should be complements to one another in marriage, the desire He gave is different in men versus women.
While Grandpa was waiting for a train in northern Russia, he noticed a one-picture comic in a newspaper. A man was giving a bouquet of roses to a lady, and he imagined sex. She imagined the wedding.Why the difference?
The difference––God gave men the energetic hormone––testosterone. It stirs men to be adventuresome, to take great risks––sometimes behaving recklessly, to become aggressive when his pride is insulted, and to pursue women for sex. If it were not for his sexual desire, he would likely always be wandering to see what lies over the next hill, never settling down. Men generally do not feel complete unless they have sex with a woman. In his book Men and Marriage, George Gilder calls this the psycho-sexual connection of well-being.
God implies this major difference between men and women in the laws of the Mosaic covenant dealing with rape. There is no law about women raping men, only men forcibly raping women (Deuteronomy 22:25-26). (To be clear, in contrast, our statutory rape laws are not about force, but seduction of minors [age of consent limits]). That God issued the death penalty demonstrates that forcible rape reflects the strength of testosterone. However, usually the boys in this seduction will just lie to get their way––“If you loved me, you would….” And the girls mistakenly think their desire for them is actually real love. Thus the absolute necessity to teach our children to become and marry faithful Christians. That, in part, means teaching boys to respect women (they are not toys and “hoe’s”) and marriage as the most important earthly human institution.
Incidently, nothing reflects the lack of moral restraint as much as the manmade religion of Islam. Islam was made for men! Rape is virtually unknown. Why? Because rape must be witnessed by four men before she can legally claim to be raped. If a girl claims to have been raped, she is at fault and will suffer the consequences (jail or a family honor killing). Muslims use the Quran as the authority of Allah to rape. Recently a Jordanian cleric issued an edict legitimizing the rape of all non-Sunni Muslim women. Also recently, a Saudi cleric gave an edict that Jihad fighters can gang rape all non-Muslim women. This is permission for men to unbridle testosterone with no impunity! About 15 years ago Grandpa had a discussion with a couple of middle-aged, lifelong atheists, who asserted that a woman cannot be raped unless she wants to be raped.
Further, in its political correctness, the U.S. military has unwittingly unleashed uncontrolled testosterone by assigning women to work in close quarters with men, such as in combat theaters and on navy ships. In May, the Pentagon reported that sexual assaults in the military are 305 times higher than in the general population. Because far too often girls are naive about men, Grandpa asks, “Where are the daddies?” About 35 years ago, while chairing an U.S.A.F. airman of the month panel, Grandpa asked the contestants their opinion about women serving in combat. Two married women were among the contenders. One who was about 30 years old adamantly opposed it. Another who was about 20 years old supported women in the front line of war. After the competition, I asked the younger if she knew that in the likelihood of being a POW, she would be raped until she died. She shockingly responded, “Why, they wouldn’t do that.” Such naivety requires daddies informing their daughters about men.
Until the last couple generations, actually until the “pill,” American society respected the Biblical order of lifetime marriage. Women knew the importance of modesty in speech, dress, and behavior. And they kept men at bay until they were married. Today, date rape starkly flags the moral decline. Without Biblical standards to constrain men and women to be the moral guardians, the society will decline into utter chaos. Christian parents must prepare our children with the knowledge of the differences.
Gilder sets forth the necessity of men to be married in order for family and society to be orderly and for men to have real lasting purpose in life. Without marriage men are driven by the hormone to be sexual conquerors going from woman to woman. When his desire is heightened, he will go on the prowl and seduce a girl to whom he is attracted. This should be a sign to girls that they need to be very cautious. This is why a lady recently remarked of her concern for her granddaughter who was living with a young man, “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
In a discussion with my mother about the differences in men and women, I remarked that when men are sexually stimulated there is a sense of an unstoppable urgency to be fulfilled. She said she surmised that, but Dad never discussed it with her. Hubby needs to have this conversation with wifey. Dad needs to man up and be the guardian of his daughter. That starts with telling her why and how she needs to be careful to guard her purity.
This caution was highlighted about 30 years ago, when Grandpa heard a wise, old preacher in his 70s state in a sermon regarding decline of the sexual moral condition of culture in general: “The way the women go in the nation is the way the nation goes.” He was saying that the women are the moral governors of the country. Yes, the governance of sex is important to the prosperity of every sphere (marriage, family, children, work, etc.) in a nation. However, girls play a major role in the moral compass of the nation. That is why Daddy must have a serious chat with his precious daughter, so she is not at risk of being seduced or even raped. Her modest appearance (dress and behavior) is key to ensuring that she does not unwittingly encourage a young man to pursue her sexually.
