By Phillip Johnson
How would you describe what it means to be a parent? What do you like the most about being a mom or a dad? What do you find to be the most challenging aspect of parenting? Some would describe parenting as the greatest blessing ever received. Others might describe parenting as the greatest challenge they’ve ever undertaken. Most parents would probably say both. Parenting is a great blessing bringing numerous rewards. Parenting is also a tremendous challenge, and is at times a scary endeavor. As a parent, I know I need help. I need direction. God provides us what we need. God shows us how to be good parents. Our heavenly Father shows us how to be good earthly fathers and mothers. God shows us how to sacrifice. He shows us how to give. He shows us how to be patient. God shows us how to forgive. God shows us to how to develop good relationships with our children.
One quality we need to imitate from God is getting to know our children individually. To be effective as a parent, we must know our children. God knows everything about us. The Psalmist declares that our Father is “intimately acquainted with all our ways.” God is the best Father. How well do you know your children?
The home should be a place where we come to know each other as a family, and a place where we come to know God. God has always worked through families. A trip through the pages of the Bible demonstrates this. Genesis 18:19, Deuteronomy 4:5-10, Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 6:4 show God’s desire to work through families. This plan will never change. God has big expectations for you as a parent; He expects you to follow His example. As a mom and a dad, you should be intimately acquainted with your children. Again, let me ask: How well do you know your kids? Do you know the answers to the following questions?
- What book(s) are they reading now?
- Who is their favorite teacher?
- Who are their friends? Who is their best friend?
- What do they enjoy doing the most with you?
- What are their fears?
- What are their dreams? Their goals?
- What are their hobbies?
- What temptations are they currently facing?
- How strong are they spiritually?
- What makes your children happy?
- What makes them nervous?
- What makes your children sad?
Parents have a crucial responsibility. We are to teach our children. We are to teach them marriage skills. We are to teach them parenting skills. We need to teach our children how to respect other people. We need to teach them a Biblical worldview. We need to teach them the ability to think godly. We need to teach our children how to handle money. We need to teach our children how to be responsible. We need to teach our children God’s Word. We must teach our children God’s plan of salvation. We also must encourage our children. Our kids need to know they are important. They need to know they matter to God, and to you as their mom and dad. Our kids need to know they can trust you as their parents.
How can we possibly fulfill these tremendous challenges as parents? Let me give you three areas to focus on as a parent. I challenge you as a parent to know the following things about your children.
- Know their friends. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 15:33 will always be true. The truth spoken by Paul is timeless and applicable to all generations. There are many things different now than when you were a teenager. Some things will never change. Some of the best and worst decisions I’ve made in my life have come about because of the influence of my friends. Spend a few minutes reading Mark 2:1-12. Compare your friends to these individuals. Compare your children’s friends to these people. Help your children surround themselves with people who care about them spiritually. Paul gives another warning to the church at Corinth in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. In what areas of our lives do these words apply? If these verses don’t apply to our closest relationships, then where do they apply? If these words don’t apply to the friends we choose, then where are they applicable? If these words aren’t talking about the people we hang out with, the people we choose to date and the person we choose to marry, then what is the point of Paul’s message? Paul’s words apply in all of the above situations. The people that are closest to you will influence you. Help your children build relationships with godly people.
- Know the influence you have on their dating and purity. Many young people are falling prey to sexual pressure. Many Christian young people are falling prey to sexual pressure. How can we help our children build godly dating relationships? Charles Barkley is in the NBA Hall of Fame. He currently works on TNT as a basketball analyst. He once said the following. “I am not a role model. I am paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” Barkley is right and wrong. He was and is a role model. You also are a role model. In fact, you are the most important role model your children have. Too many parents minimize the influence they have on their children. Don’t ever underestimate the influence you have on your children. Your relationship with your children is important in helping them say no to sexual temptation.
- Know the impact you have on their faith development. In 1 Corinthians 11:1 Paul writes, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” Paul gives these Christians a living example to follow. Can we say these words to our children? Can we say these words to our families? Where will your children end up if they follow you? Where will your family end up if they imitate you? If you want your children to live right…make sure you are living right. If you want your children to love God…make sure you love God. If you want your children to go to Heaven…make sure you are walking the path yourself. If you want your children to read God’s Word…personally set the example. Be the example in loving God. Be the example in loving others. Be the example in loving God’s Word. Be the example in staying faithful. Live your life so that you can say to your children and your family, “be Imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
