By Jim Mettenbrink
Recently, Grandpa gave advice about personal responsibility. There is perhaps no greater decision that will affect your earthly life and happiness and possibly your eternal destiny than whom you will marry. And that decision has tremendous responsibility and must not be treated lightly in any way. Unfortunately, most folks follow their attractions and passion, rather than what is rational and Biblical. 
Grandma said frequently, “We got married for life; there was no option.” This brings to mind something Grandma said in the mid 1950s when I was a boy. To my mother, she hardly whispered audibly, “She’s divorced,” as if it was unmentionable. In fact divorce was a scourge of society. Until I left home at age 19, I did not know anyone who was divorced. On my father’s and mother’s side of the family, no one in their generation was divorced. With only two exceptions (death), all of them enjoyed 60 years of marriage each to one spouse.  
Grandma said when her sisters married, they simply went to the minister’s house for a short ceremony exchanging vows, a commitment made between them before God that lasted over 60 years. Ironically today thousands of dollars, even tens of thousands, are spent on an elaborate ceremony, with a high risk that in a few years the couple will divorce. 
The preciousness and sanctity of marriage has now become the disposable tissue of society. If you don’t like it, throw it away and get another. Because of lack of respect for God and His law of marriage, the lack of commitment and because of selfishness, the risk of divorce is very high. Of those who divorced, 65% of the women and 50% of the men were 24 years old or younger when they first married. Recently, I watched an interview with a U.S. elected official during which a comment was made about the serious consequences of broken homes in our society. The man said his parents had each been married four times and he had lived in 17 houses in his childhood. God said, “I hate divorce” (Malachi 2:16).  
Additionally, about 20 years ago, a survey conducted among churches of Christ revealed that 80% of Christians who married non-Christians fell away from the faith. In other words, they lost their eternity in Heaven with Jesus. These stats and God’s attitude should cause all people, especially young people, when their passions and emotions cloud and even blind their common sense and reason, to be extremely cautious in selecting a lifetime spouse. 
The devil is an expert at deceiving folks into believing that how they “feel” in their heart is right or they even think it comes from God. God said through the prophet, “The heart is deceitful above all things….” (Jeremiah 17:9). You must beware you do not deceive yourself. Such is like the fruit Eve and Adam ate––it was irresistible and deadly. They were deceived by the devil and their own desires (deceived themselves). 
To be sure, God created us with emotions, and physical attractions, but He also gave us a brain––intelligence––to work through these attractions to come to a decision that is in harmony with God. So how does one avoid this disastrous pitfall––divorce? And have a reasonable assurance of happiness in this life? And eternity! 
Aside from preventing fornication (1 Corinthians 7:8-9), marriage has one primary purpose––bring the next generation into the world (Genesis 1:28; 9:1). You as a parent will have the responsibility to lead your children to Heaven––that means both parents have the responsibility to teach them God’s way (Deuteronomy 6:4-9; Ephesians 6:4). Logically, Christians must be faithful to God and marry only faithful Christians if they expect to be successful in rearing their children with the desire to love the Lord, following Him as a Christian. When the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, he commanded widows to marry “only in the Lord,” that is a Christian man (1 Corinthians 7:39). Why? Because wives are to be in subjection to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). If this is God’s will, would it not be for all Christian women? If not, why not? The question is, “Will you be a faithful and responsible Christian?” 
Life is full of uncertainty. In fact the only thing that is certain is uncertainty. However, because God has given us freewill––that is the privilege to choose––we must make choices that give the best possibility of certainty. In the case of marriage, it’s whether your child goes to Heaven or Hell. Nearly 30 years ago, an older preacher who saw that the risk was so great of children being lost eternally told me, he would never bring children into the world today (1985) because of the challenge to rear them so they would want to be faithful Christians and go to Heaven and not Hell.  
By marrying a faithful Christian, your children have the best opportunity of going to Heaven. In contrast marrying some one who is not a faithful Christian gives the devil the best opportunity to take your child to Hell? The ultimate question becomes, “How much do you love your future children?”