By Brian Giselbach
Some of my earliest childhood memories are of attending Bible school and Sunday morning worship services at a denominational church. In my early teen years, for reasons unknown to me, we stopped attending church services on a regular basis. At the beginning of my high school years, my life took a dramatic turn in the wrong direction following my parents’ divorce. Due to a lack of parental guidance, I began making poor choices. My spirit became rebellious and I engaged in activities that were dangerous to others and myself.  
During my junior year of high school I asked a girl to attend a dance with me. She replied by telling me her parents would not permit her to date a boy they did not know and that as a Christian she did not attend dances. However, she suggested that her parents would permit me to attend church services with her. I attended services with her the next Sunday at a small church of Christ. 
What a difference this made in my life. I was introduced to men and women who lived convincing Christian lives. They loved the Lord. They memorized Scripture together. They knew the Bible to a degree I had not observed before. Their worship was simple, earnest, and sincere. They were serious about following the Bible in every way.  
After my conversion to Christ, I decided to become a minister of the Gospel. I was attracted to the idea of the simple, unifying message of New Testament Christianity. It became clear to me the Bible has the answers families need to be healthy and strong.  
When my wife and I were dating, we talked a lot about what a good marriage should look like before God. We talked about what kind of parents God wanted us to be if He blessed us with children. After rearing three great kids, these are the marks that have characterized our family for nearly thirty years: 

  1. A firm foundation of parental responsibility. It is the role of parents to direct the hearts of their children to God (Ephesians 6:1-4). Families come to ruin because parents abdicate this role and give it to others (or allow children to rear themselves). We were determined not to do this. We were determined to control the influences that came into our children’s lives. We were resolved not to have any regrets when it came to giving our children back to God. We knew this would entail a consistent pattern of loving discipline and spiritual training. 
  2. A pattern of active involvement in the church. God’s plan is for the family to contribute to the growth and stability of His spiritual family, the church (Ephesians 4:1-16). We taught our children that we should give more to the church than we received. We taught them that worship is more than sitting in a pew; it is about giving God the honor He deserves. We were involved in every good work of the church. Our best friends were members of the church. We also wanted our children to see us working to bring friends and neighbors to Christ. 
  3. Everyday conversations that instill divine direction and counsel. Each day presents opportunities of interaction with your children. My wife and I cherished the special conversations we had with our children as they were growing. We talked about what it means to live the Christian life, the wonders of creation, how to properly value and use the blessings that come from God, how to respect a girl or boy on a date, and what to look for in a husband or wife. We chose to homeschool our children for most of their childhood years; this afforded us a better opportunity to study and memorize the Scriptures. 
  4. Marital love and fidelity. “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”  I don’t know who said this, but this stuck with me early on in our marriage. One of the most important influences you can have on your children is that which comes from demonstrating your commitment to each other. Children need this sense of security as they learn to make their way in an unstable world. 

Are there things we would do differently?  Yes, but only in some of the details. We understood our roles as parents. We’re not through parenting, but we are enjoying the fruits of seeing our children making good decisions and living out their faith.