By Jim Palmer
“Thank you” and “I love you” are words which, when strung together, form powerful, emotive, life enriching phrases that strike a chord with any to whom they are said. The need to feel appreciated and useful and loved is ingrained into our psyche. Each one of us enjoys a compliment. We feel better when we hear pleasant words. Proverbs 16:24 declares the powerful therapeutic value of kind words like this: “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” The phrase “thank you” is even one of the two ‘magic words’ we teach our children (coupled, of course, with ‘please’). When we are told “I love you” from someone who we know means it, the joyful feeling of the encouraging words can linger for hours – and even days.
So, if knowing how good it feels to hear those words expressed – why do we not voice our gratitude and love for others more often (Matthew 7:12)? Why is it that we wait until someone dies before we shower them with accolades? Why is it that all too often we have trouble getting the words “thank you” and “I love you” to cross our lips? Is it possible that we are too caught up with self to recognize those who give so much to us? Have we as a society become too focused on what we don’t have rather than how abundantly blessed we truly are? And, as such, is it even likely that we have developed a sense of entitlement and expectation that, when not met, darkens our hearts to the point of being ungrateful and unloving? Friends, this ought not to be.
Why not take the time, right now, to share your feelings with someone by saying three little words: “I love you”? Why not begin by giving thanks to God? Some thirty-six times the Psalmist declares a need or motivation for giving thanks to God, including:
Psalm 92:1
It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High…
Psalm 107:1
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.
Psalm 107:31
Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness…
Psalm 140:13
Surely the righteous shall give thanks to Your name…Indeed, surely the righteous will give thanks to God. Are you constantly and consistently thankful to God? Will who do not know God give thanks to Him? Of course they will not. If as Christians we will not be thankful (and how can we call ourselves truly thankful if we will not express our gratitude) how are we different? The Christian must be different lest his influence be nil. Christians, of all people, should be ready and able to follow the admonition of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 which reads, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” If we will be a positive influence on our associates, our friends, our families, yes, even this world in which we live, we must be ever rejoicing (always being mindful of all that God has both done and provided for us), we will be constant in prayer (acknowledging and thanking God for his bountiful blessings) and we will always, always, always thank our Father in Heaven. Will you not bow your head in prayer, right now, and thank the One who provides for your every need?
Let us follow up by seeking out those who we love and appreciate to express that love and gratitude to them. If you need to, make a list of those who need to hear how much you love them. Call them today. Write them a note right now. Send the email you’ve been meaning to send. Let the sweet fragrance of your love and gratitude permeate the lives of those who you would have be encouraged to face another day, those who might be struggling with problems in life, those who work tirelessly – yet, thanklessly to make your life better, and those who simply can never hear those beautiful words enough (Ephesians 4:29, Isaiah 35:3-4). May we never be accused of being like the husband who never tells his wife he loves her, and when asked about it, replied, “I told you I loved you on the day were married, and if something changes I’ll let you know.” Carve out a new habit, if you have not done so already, to give a voice to the love and gratitude you have in your heart. Your children need to hear about it. They need to know that their existence and well-being is based on the love that you have deep inside. Express it. Let them know how much you love them. Do it today.
And finally, make it a point to suppress the urge to feel entitled. Manage your expectations to a suitable level. When we begin to expect to be treated in a certain way, honored in a certain fashion, or entitled to a particular position in life bestowed by God or our fellow man, we can be quickly filled with ingratitude when life does not quite live up to our ‘expectations’. For example, in 2 Kings 5, we read about Naaman, a mighty man of valor, most honorable in the eyes of the king of Syria. Naaman, however, had a problem. Naaman was a leper. Fortunately for Naaman, one of his wife’s maidens was a young Israelite girl who had been captured by the raiding Syrian army. She knew that the God of Israel could cleanse Naaman’s leprosy and told his wife about it. Naaman had his king send a letter to the king of Israel, who in turn spoke with Elisha the prophet about this Syrian army commander with leprosy. In order that the God of Israel would be glorified even by the Syrians, Elisha agreed to heal the man of his leprosy. Once told of Elisha’s willingness to heal him, Naaman summoned his chariot, took ten talents of silver, six thousand shekels of gold, and ten changes of clothing (think pomp and circumstance – this is a big deal!) and proceeded toward Elisha’s house. Naaman had it in mind how this would all play out:
“The prophet will come out, pay me the proper respect and honor, make a magnificent show by waving his hand and shouting to the Lord so that all will know how important I am, and I will be cleansed of my leprosy – I’m certain it will be very dramatic!”
Only, it didn’t happen that way. Oh yes, Elisha offered the way for Naaman to be saved from his leprosy, but the procedure was not up to Naaman’s expectations.
“Elisha sent a messenger to greet me? Does he not even want to see me, a mighty man of valor that is right here in his midst, even at his door? Where is the honor, the respect I’m due! And he wants me to do what? Wash in the Jordan River? Does Elisha not know that there are far better waters than those that flow in Jordan? And you mean that’s it, anyway? Dip seven times in the Jordan? That’s preposterous!”
Naaman was struggling with expectations. He felt entitled to more pomp, more sizzle, and more style. And while the prescription was one that would save him (dipping in the Jordan River seven times) he couldn’t help but exhibit a bit of ingratitude for Elisha’s not living up to what he had envisioned. Fortunately, once his fury subsided, he listened to one of his servants who convinced him to obey Elisha’s command – despite the fact that he thought it maybe just a bit foolish to have to do it that way – and he was cleansed. Only then did he return to Elisha to express his thankfulness. May we guard our hearts against developing a sense of entitlement and expectation either with our God or our fellow man.
As we close, let us consider the ways that we may live lives that draw ourselves and others closer to God. The Christian has every reason to be thankful. “Do not be deceived … Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father …” (James 1:17). Follow the pattern of Christ and give Him thanks. We know how to love because He first loved us (1 John 4:10). Let us love one another and let the world know we are Christians by that love.
