By Melinda Harrub
Not a day goes by without most of us taking a moment to notice our physical appearance by glancing at our reflection in a mirror. We take special care in making sure that we are presentable for those who might look upon us. Women, in particular, take even more time applying special creams and colors to beautify themselves. Many men shave their faces in order to appear clean cut and groomed. Men and women alike are generally concerned with how they might appear to others, and go to great lengths to preserve a certain image.
Those of us who are blessed with the humbling experience of being a parent can rest assured that no mirror is needed to portray our image as parents. All we must do is look at our children. After all, they are reflections of us. Do we like what we see? Oftentimes, I have thought to myself and have been disturbed by certain attributes that my children display. What disturbs me even greater is the realization that my child is a reflection of me. Certainly, this is not to say that every time a child displays undesirable behavior that it is the fault of the parent. (Who hasn’t experienced a “cranky” child due to sickness, exhaustion, etc…?) And there is a time that a child must take responsibility for his/her own actions. Sadly, our society has conditioned young people to “pass the buck” and blame someone or something else for their own poor choices.
But what about the parent’s role? I have listened far too many times as parents make excuses for their child’s unacceptable behavior. It is fact that a child’s overall disposition and personality are molded from the very beginning of their lives, from the day they are born. Children are creatures of habit and repetition, and as parents, we must know that they will mimic every move we make. They are constantly watching and listening to us, to learn everything they can. They are sponges—soaking up everything they see and hear, good and bad! If we are not pleased with our child’s actions or behavior, perhaps we should take a moment to first look at our own reflection, and then look deeply beyond their skin and into their hearts.
How do we as parents prick the hearts of our children? The scriptures tell us just how. Solomon in all his wisdom put it simply in this most familiar admonition: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) The Hebrew word for “train” in this verse means to “guide” or “direct”. Simply put, if we guide the hearts and minds of our children when they are young, they should not lose their way or direction as they grow older. Paul warns fathers not to provoke their children but to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4). I would suggest that nurturing our children in the Lord begins by diligently teaching them biblical principles when we sit in our house, and when we walk by the way, and when we lie down, and when we rise up … every moment of every day!
We can, likewise, see our reflection as parents when our children grow and continue in their walk of faith toward heaven. John writes that there is no greater joy than to hear that his children walk in Truth. This passage undoubtedly echoes what we as parents feel when the fruits of our labors are seen in our children. After all, what greater gift we been given than our children, and what greater mission field is there than the hearts of our own children? What nobler calling is there than to teach them the truth and to see them walk in that Truth?
When you wake up each morning and proceed through your daily ritual of making yourself physically presentable to the world, give greater thought to that reflection that has eternal consequences, your children. Spend time molding them to be like Christ with their hearts and minds on spiritual things, so that you will like what you see when you look in that mirror. That reflection is timeless and priceless. It will not be achieved overnight. It is a work in progress that will reflect beauty not just today, but in the generations that follow.
