In a world driven by constant connection, the nature of our interactions has changed drastically. Interacting with screens rather than faces, we can easily forget that we’re dealing with real people online. That doesn’t just go for the things we say to them, either. In what we read from others it’s really easy to assume they meant something harmful or to label the person as a false teacher of sorts.
In both observing and taking part of discussions on Facebook and Twitter, I’ve seen fellow Christians immediately jump to the conclusion that their brother meant harm by what he said, or that he must be a false teacher because he disagrees with what I believe. The saddest part about this is that the area in which things like this most often occur are typically preacher discussion groups or in the comments sections of articles from Christian blogs.
What are we doing, though? Are we really displaying the love of Christ to the world if we’re publicly tearing each other down and looking for ways to disfellowship or label each other? Does it really do the church much good if we build all kinds of blog traffic by scoffing at and dissecting more well-known Christians? Will the lost really want to be around the kind of people who don’t just judge motives but judge motives that they arbitrarily assign to each other?
What we need more than anything else in all of our interactions, whether online or not, is to keep four simple words in mind: Benefit of the doubt.
Paul made it clear that Christian love is not the kind of love that will go assuming the worst about other people. 1 Corinthians 13:7’s declaration that love “believes all things” means that if we want to claim we walk in the love of Christ (the defining characteristic of Christianity), we have to exercise those four words. Believing all things is about giving the benefit of the doubt. The Pulpit Commentary explains “Love believes all thigns” as follows:
“Takes the best and kindest views of all men and all circumstances, as long as it is possible to do so. It is the opposite to the common spirit, which drags everything in deteriorem partem, paints it in the darkest colours, and makes the worst of it. Love is entirely alien from the spirit of the cynic, the pessimist, the ecclesiastical rival, the anonymous slanderer, the secret detractor.”[1]
What Paul is talking about is that benefit of the doubt, assuming the best about someone rather than the worst. But how often do we see people automatically jumping to the worst possible assumption about others? A person who is growing in the love of Christ must strive to remove that defensive tendency from his life.
Ephesians 4:1-3 reinforces this, where Paul called for the saints to “tolerate one another in love” and “be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” It’s not exactly fun to see some of your fellow Christians passing one of your articles around Facebook slamming you for being a “liberal” or “change agent” when none of them have contacted you to actually see what you might have meant. Unfortunately I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who has experienced that.
Instead of looking to preserve unity, some are looking for the first lines they can draw. You spoke at a church that also hosted so-and-so? You’re off the list. You wrote that you believe ____ about the Holy Spirit? You’re a liberal and I’m going to let everybody know. We disagree about the interpretation of a particular verse? I’m not sure I can fellowship you anymore.
What if we just tolerate one another in love? What if we just gave each other the benefit of the doubt instead of trying to get a moral high ground to look down on each other? If we really want to preserve our unity, we need to start looking for ways to think the best about people, even people with whom we may have disagreements. There is a time and a place to label false teachers as such, but among ourselves we need to be doing everything possible to be united, because we’re part of something so much bigger and more important than ourselves.
What do we do about it, then? Well, there are two options for the next time you see someone post something you might disagree with. If you’re seriously concerned about it, talk to them. See where they’re coming from, try to understand their point of view. Or, if you don’t feel like it’s worth contacting them about it, assume the best about them. Give them the benefit of the doubt. The one thing you can’t do is the one thing that’s easiest to do, silently placing a negative label on the brother or sister in your mind and letting that assumption define how you perceive them.
The world needs more of the love of Christ, and if it isn’t going to come from Christians, where else should we expect it to come from? That all starts at the most basic point, in how we think about each other. Give the benefit of the doubt.
By Jack Wilkie
[1] – Spence-Jones, H. D. M. (Ed.). (1909). 1 Corinthians. London; New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company. 424.
