{"id":6599,"date":"2018-05-15T19:09:12","date_gmt":"2018-05-16T00:09:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/?p=6599"},"modified":"2018-05-15T19:09:12","modified_gmt":"2018-05-16T00:09:12","slug":"when-shame-was-a-good-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2018\/05\/15\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"When shame was a good thing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>By Brad Harrub, Ph.D.<\/strong><br \/>\nWarning: My thoughts below will likely offend or \u201ctrigger\u201d many. Rather than taking your anger out on me, why not direct that emotion and energy toward the real problem?<br \/>\nI\u2019m in that weird stage of life where I\u2019m not \u201cold,\u201d but I\u2019m not \u201cyoung\u201d anymore either. I am still young enough to know what\u2019s going on in popular culture today (probably thanks to my children), but I\u2019m also old enough to remember a different time in our nation.<br \/>\nFor instance, there was a time in our nation where a bride wearing white was a symbol of her purity. Today, women walk down the aisle for their second or third marriage wearing white. I don\u2019t think most brides even think about whether or not they are \u201ccandidates\u201d for wearing white for a wedding. I\u2019m old enough to remember when it was shameful for young ladies to give birth to children without being married. Today, out of wedlock births are not really a big deal. In fact, 43% of children born in America today come home to just one parent. Let that sink in for just a moment\u2014almost one-half of all children born are born out-of-wedlock. Simply put, we are no longer ashamed. Our conscience has been seared with a hot iron.<br \/>\nInstead of feeling shame, young people today lash out at those who might \u201cjudge\u201d them. High schools open up nurseries to accommodate the expanding population of students who have babies. Parents get mad at the church for not having baby showers for their daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock. And society keeps convincing us we should be tolerant of everything.<br \/>\nShame is defined as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. But parents don\u2019t want their children to feel humiliation or distress. So instead of instilling strong conscience about things like sexual purity, we relax our morals and values. As a result, our nation has successfully altered what is viewed as acceptable or normal behavior when it comes to sex outside of marriage.<br \/>\nHowever, God does not change\u2014He is immutable (Malachi 3:6). Whatever He has deemed as good and right is not subject to the whims of our culture. Just because a large percentage of the population is doing something does not make it right or good. Good is what God wills!<br \/>\nGod Himself formed the institution of marriage and the family (Genesis 2). The Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). The Bible speaks clearly about the sin of fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18-20; Galatians 5:19-21) and keeping the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4). Sexual immorality is something that can keep someone from spending eternity with God in heaven (Revelation 21:8)\u2014it\u2019s a serious subject in the eyes of God.<br \/>\nWhy? Because there are huge consequences when a child is raised in a home without a father. (I\u2019m not saying it can\u2019t be done or that it is a sin\u2026I\u2019m saying there are serious consequences). For instance, fatherless homes account for:<br \/>\n53% of teen mothers<br \/>\n63% of youth suicides<br \/>\n71% high school dropouts<br \/>\n85% of youths in prison<br \/>\n90% of homeless\/runaway children<br \/>\nAnd these are just a few of the consequences the child will face.<br \/>\nThis also means that guys do not get a free pass. As the saying goes, \u201cIt takes two to tango.\u201d How many guys are walking down the aisle pure? How many guys are \u201cmanning up\u201d and being father\u2019s to the children they produce? How many young men are setting aside their video game controller and actually assuming the role of spiritual leader?<br \/>\nRather than Christians getting comfortable with out of wedlock births maybe we should bring back shame. I know that sounds harsh and judgmental given our politically correct climate. But maybe we should develop a Christian atmosphere where anything that God disapproves of is looked at as wrong and sinful. Maybe as a Christian family we should not be supportive of behavior that the Bible says will lead someone to a lake of fire. Maybe we should not throw celebrations for sin. (This doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t love children born into those situations. It simply means we don\u2019t celebrate the sinful behavior.)<br \/>\nInstead, maybe we should hold our children and ourselves accountable to God. Maybe we should stop allowing our culture to dictate what is okay or acceptable. Maybe we should raise children who desire to be holy instead of desiring to live like the world. Maybe we should raise children who don\u2019t want to feel shame and displease their heavenly father. Maybe we should raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Brad Harrub, Ph.D. Warning: My thoughts below will likely offend or \u201ctrigger\u201d many. Rather than taking your anger out on me, why not direct that emotion and energy toward the real problem? I\u2019m in that weird stage of life where I\u2019m not \u201cold,\u201d but I\u2019m not \u201cyoung\u201d anymore either. I am still young enough [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6600,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20,59,35],"tags":[145,58,120,755,1423,63,1363,29],"class_list":["post-6599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","category-christian-living","category-culture","tag-brad","tag-children","tag-family","tag-father","tag-mother","tag-parents","tag-sexual","tag-sin","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When shame was a good thing - Focus Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2018\/05\/15\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When shame was a good thing - Focus Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Brad Harrub, Ph.D. Warning: My thoughts below will likely offend or \u201ctrigger\u201d many. 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I am still young enough [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2018\/05\/15\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Focus Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-05-16T00:09:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/Shame.001-e1526429330104.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"focus\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"focus\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"focus\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/410e95ca4492328087bb414318cdbf13\"},\"headline\":\"When shame was a good thing\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-05-16T00:09:12+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":799,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/Shame.001-e1526429330104.jpeg\",\"keywords\":[\"Brad\",\"Children\",\"Family\",\"Father\",\"mother\",\"Parents\",\"Sexual\",\"Sin\"],\"articleSection\":[\"All\",\"Christian Living\",\"Culture\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/tampaseo.expert\\\/focus\\\/2018\\\/05\\\/15\\\/when-shame-was-a-good-thing\\\/\",\"name\":\"When shame was a good thing - 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