{"id":5328,"date":"2017-11-29T17:13:12","date_gmt":"2017-11-29T23:13:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/?p=5328"},"modified":"2017-11-29T17:13:12","modified_gmt":"2017-11-29T23:13:12","slug":"soon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2017\/11\/29\/soon\/","title":{"rendered":"Soon"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Joan Ketchen<\/strong>
\nMy\u00a0only child\u00a0and joy of my life\u00a0recently\u00a0died.\u00a0She was 32.\u00a0We\u00a0assumed that\u00a0she\u00a0would\u00a0mature\u00a0and\u00a0one day\u00a0return\u00a0to attending church services.\u00a0However, like most parents in our culture,\u00a0we\u00a0accepted\u00a0and\u00a0had\u00a0even expected\u00a0a phase of life\u00a0that\u00a0many\u00a0young\u00a0people\u00a0enter into\u00a0as they\u00a0create\u00a0a life independent of their parents\u2013\u2013adulthood.\u00a0Well-intentioned advice\u00a0says\u00a0cut them loose\u00a0and\u00a0let them grow up.\u00a0The end result is\u00a0independent, mature adults. Such a phase is\u00a0often marked by a\u00a0period\u00a0of\u00a0time\u00a0when\u00a0many\u00a0stop\u00a0attending church\u00a0as many of us did\u00a0too.\u00a0Experience says,\u00a0\u201cLook at us;\u00a0we are faithful Christians\u00a0who turned out\u00a0ok!\u201d\u00a0However,\u00a0in these times the world has grown harsher.\u00a0When our vulnerable young adults leave home today,\u00a0they are subjected to more of a hazing-type exercise\u00a0and one that\u00a0not many\u00a0Christian\u00a0parents\u00a0have\u00a0\u00a0experienced\u00a0themselves.\u00a0Why\u00a0would\u00a0we accept\u00a0this declaration of independence\u00a0as a\u00a0step\u00a0necessary\u00a0to produce\u00a0successful adults? Our society\u00a0says\u00a0it is\u00a0because we want\u00a0them\u00a0to\u00a0be happy.\u00a0Today,\u00a0happiness\u00a0means obtaining\u00a0a good college-required job\u00a0that pays well!\u00a0With a good job,\u00a0one\u00a0can\u00a0achieve the American dreams!\u00a0Some\u00a0rhetorically\u00a0ask:\u00a0Isn’t a good job a\u00a0sign of success? Isn’t\u00a0it the\u00a0goal in\u00a0our\u00a0country?\u00a0Isn’t\u00a0it\u00a0our focus?\u00a0Isn’t\u00a0a good job\u00a0a\u00a0reflection\u00a0of\u00a0good parenting?\u00a0<\/span>
\nOur\u00a0daughter\u00a0focused and\u00a0blew through most\u00a0career-building\u00a0goals.\u00a0She\u00a0put herself through law school\u00a0without our help, became a litigating attorney,\u00a0and\u00a0even\u00a0established\u00a0her own practice at age 26.\u00a0One\u00a0young man\u00a0she dated,\u00a0who\u00a0earned a\u00a0MBA and a\u00a0PhD\u00a0simultaneously\u2013\u2013the first to do so at his school,\u00a0said he had not met\u00a0a girl who was\u00a0more intelligent\u00a0than she was.\u00a0She\u00a0was\u00a0a sister-type friend to most young men she knew.\u00a0One young lady\u00a0who spoke at her memorial said,\u00a0\u201cIf she approved of you, you were in because all the guys loved her!\u201d\u00a0Our daughter\u00a0ran a half marathon, could fly a plane, was a gourmet cook, was an artist, played tennis, etc.\u00a0Her mind seldom shut down.\u00a0And oh\u00a0my, could she\u00a0ever\u00a0shoulder your troubles and ask for nothing in return.\u00a0She was ambition and\u00a0accomplishment in motion!\u00a0<\/span>
\nShe was\u00a0a\u00a0beautiful,\u00a0charismatic\u00a0person\u00a0who\u00a0was\u00a0uniquely\u00a0interesting.\u00a0She had a\u00a0hilarious\u00a0sense of humor.\u00a0She treated all people as she wanted to be treated\u00a0(Matthew\u00a07:12).\u00a0She often said with a smile,\u00a0but seriously to us and\u00a0friends,\u00a0\u201cDon’t judge me.\u201d\u00a0I believe she asked for\u00a0this\u00a0due to\u00a0her\u00a0struggles\u00a0with\u00a0attention deficit disorder\u00a0which she was not diagnosed with\u00a0until\u00a0she was 27.\u00a0She was born\u00a0impulsive,\u00a0energetic,\u00a0and\u00a0curious.\u00a0However, she was\u00a0a\u00a0risk-taker\u00a0who\u00a0never completely\u00a0developed\u00a0good judgment skills\u00a0(Romans 7:15).\u00a0She\u00a0thought she\u00a0could do anything,\u00a0and\u00a0we\u00a0thought so\u00a0too!\u00a0<\/span>
\nIronically, our daughter’s birth and my desire to rear\u00a0her in a Christian home when I was in my thirties (her age when she died) is what brought me back to church services.\u00a0She was educated in Christian schools.\u00a0I faithfully took her to church when she was a child.\u00a0I talked to her about going to\u00a0Heaven\u00a0and about being a Christian\u00a0(Proverbs 22:6).\u00a0My daughter accepted Christ\u00a0as her Lord and Savior\u00a0and was baptized when she was nine years old but stopped attending church services in her rebellious,\u00a0young adulthood\u00a0and only occasionally attended with us.\u00a0She said she felt judged there.\u00a0D\u00e9j\u00e0 vu\u00a0<\/a>\u2013\u2013I recall a similar feeling when I returned as a young adult,\u00a0too.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>
\nShe was ten years old when\u00a0I married\u00a0my current husband.\u00a0The hard life as a single mom motivated me to prepare her and protect her by seeing that she developed independence and got a good education.\u00a0I felt she needed these\u00a0to obtain a good job\u00a0for a\u00a0secure living\u00a0should she find herself in a similar position as mine one day.\u00a0She willingly took on the challenge and accepted the path to a successful career.\u00a0She never needed prodding to do homework.\u00a0She never needed prodding,\u00a0period!\u00a0<\/span>
\nBeginning in her mid teens, my daughter and I often\u00a0had\u00a0stormy mother-daughter disagreements.\u00a0But shortly before her death,\u00a0she sent me a text message\u00a0that\u00a0said,\u00a0\u201cMom, I know I hurt you. I never intend to. Please forgive me.\u201d\u00a0If she was asking me for forgiveness,\u00a0I am confident\u00a0she was asking God for forgiveness as well (Psalms 25:7).\u00a0 Not long before her death she started to once again talk about returning to church.\u00a0Regrettably\u00a0I sensed no danger and therefore felt no urgency.\u00a0<\/span>
\nUnfortunately,\u00a0many\u00a0unanswered\u00a0questions\u00a0remain\u00a0surrounding her\u00a0suspicious\u00a0death.\u00a0An\u00a0independent\u00a0medical examiner\u00a0wrote, \u201cShe was in an environment that was risky, immature, and dangerous to the point of her death…there is a strong sense of foul play but without evidence, there would be no investigation.\u201d\u00a0Upon\u00a0reading an on-line\u00a0chat\u00a0that evening\u00a0written\u00a0between her and a friend,\u00a0another expert\u00a0concluded,\u00a0\u201c<\/i>When she went to bed she expected to\u00a0wake up the next\u00a0morning.\u201d\u00a0The specifics of her death are not the subject of this writing.\u00a0However,\u00a0her unexpected\u00a0death at such a young age\u00a0and the impact of one’s environment\u00a0while anticipating tomorrow\u00a0are.\u00a0<\/span>
\nI\u00a0have learned\u00a0since entering\u00a0into\u00a0this nightmare\u00a0that\u00a0human\u00a0minds cannot accept the\u00a0warning that\u00a0their\u00a0children\u00a0can die.\u00a0It has been\u00a0almost three\u00a0years,\u00a0and I still cannot\u00a0accept that\u00a0my\u00a0daughter\u00a0died<\/b>!\u00a0I knew children died.\u00a0But I could not conceive of death as something that could happen to\u00a0my<\/b>\u00a0child!\u00a0As I raced to the hospital\u00a0that day, I prayed:\u00a0\u201cPlease God!\u00a0 Please God! Please let her be ok!\u201d\u00a0 But she wasn’t.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>
\nHindsight has 20\/20 vision,\u00a0which\u00a0I have now and want to share with you.\u00a0I wonder if I had planted and cultivated the\u00a0specific\u00a0seed for her to\u00a0attend\u00a0church\u00a0services\u00a0even after she\u00a0stopped\u00a0attending\u00a0as\u00a0thoughtfully\u00a0as I planted the seed\u00a0for her\u00a0to succeed\u00a0in her career,\u00a0would she have\u00a0come back\u00a0sooner?\u00a0Would she have\u00a0ever\u00a0stopped?\u00a0\u00a0I should have kept\u00a0her closer and\u00a0emphasized with focused deliberation\u00a0and conviction that if she\u00a0would\u00a0obey and love\u00a0Jesus\u00a0at\u00a0her\u00a0core\u00a0that\u00a0other things would\u00a0be added\u00a0(Matthew\u00a06:33).\u00a0If so, would she be here\u00a0with us\u00a0today?\u00a0We know the most likely answer.\u00a0She\u00a0trusted me,\u00a0and\u00a0in her impressionable years\u00a0she\u00a0listened to me\u00a0as I listened\u00a0to those influencing me at that time.\u00a0I humbly but passionately ask\u00a0those of you whose child is not attending church services to ponder this question.\u00a0If you could sincerely accept the fact that your child could die today,\u00a0would you feel a sense of urgency? Would you continue to accept what is deemed as a normal rite of passage into adulthood,\u00a0or would you\u00a0now\u00a0involve yourself more in their lives?\u00a0<\/span>
\nOur story is a\u00a0tragic example\u00a0to\u00a0show we cannot\u00a0become\u00a0complacent relying on tomorrow.\u00a0God wants us to\u00a0pray\u00a0for\u00a0wisdom to know how to reach our children who have stopped\u00a0attending church\u00a0services.\u00a0He loves them even more than we do.\u00a0Through Jesus they will be forgiven.\u00a0Can\u00a0we\u00a0drive them\u00a0farther\u00a0away with an approach that says,\u00a0\u201cHell, hell, hell?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0If you think so, you may want to consider this one. If\u00a0talks\u00a0consistently\u00a0breakdown,\u00a0maybe there needs to be a time to\u00a0rebuild a trusting relationship by creating a peaceful time together with\u00a0your\u00a0young adult.\u00a0Even a regularly scheduled meal together might provide\u00a0a peaceful Christian environment\u00a0for them as their world\u00a0whirls choices\u00a0around them\u00a0(Romans 14:19).\u00a0Invite them to church,\u00a0often.\u00a0Jesus wanted Christians to fellowship and meet regularly with other Christians\u00a0(Hebrews 10:25).\u00a0By doing so,\u00a0an\u00a0overall\u00a0Christian\u00a0environment\u00a0is available as\u00a0a place of safety for us and\u00a0for our\u00a0impressionable, faltering\u00a0young adults.\u00a0Unfortunately for\u00a0our family, we\u00a0did\u00a0not consider while\u00a0our daughter\u00a0was out there growing up\u00a0that\u00a0she might be\u00a0in\u00a0an environment that was\u00a0risky, immature, and dangerous to the point of her death!<\/b>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/span>
\n\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Joan Ketchen My\u00a0only child\u00a0and joy of my life\u00a0recently\u00a0died.\u00a0She was 32.\u00a0We\u00a0assumed that\u00a0she\u00a0would\u00a0mature\u00a0and\u00a0one day\u00a0return\u00a0to attending church services.\u00a0However, like most parents in our culture,\u00a0we\u00a0accepted\u00a0and\u00a0had\u00a0even expected\u00a0a phase of life\u00a0that\u00a0many\u00a0young\u00a0people\u00a0enter into\u00a0as they\u00a0create\u00a0a life independent of their parents\u2013\u2013adulthood.\u00a0Well-intentioned advice\u00a0says\u00a0cut them loose\u00a0and\u00a0let them grow up.\u00a0The end result is\u00a0independent, mature adults. Such a phase is\u00a0often marked by a\u00a0period\u00a0of\u00a0time\u00a0when\u00a0many\u00a0stop\u00a0attending church\u00a0as many of us […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1135,1137,58,419,1164,1150,1163],"class_list":["post-5328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-1135","tag-august","tag-children","tag-death","tag-joan-ketchen","tag-lost","tag-prodigal","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\nSoon - Focus Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2017\/11\/29\/soon\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Soon - Focus Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Joan Ketchen My\u00a0only child\u00a0and joy of my life\u00a0recently\u00a0died.\u00a0She was 32.\u00a0We\u00a0assumed that\u00a0she\u00a0would\u00a0mature\u00a0and\u00a0one day\u00a0return\u00a0to attending church services.\u00a0However, like most parents in our culture,\u00a0we\u00a0accepted\u00a0and\u00a0had\u00a0even expected\u00a0a phase of life\u00a0that\u00a0many\u00a0young\u00a0people\u00a0enter into\u00a0as they\u00a0create\u00a0a life independent of their parents\u2013\u2013adulthood.\u00a0Well-intentioned advice\u00a0says\u00a0cut them loose\u00a0and\u00a0let them grow up.\u00a0The end result is\u00a0independent, mature adults. 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