{"id":1948,"date":"2016-03-23T01:38:24","date_gmt":"2016-03-23T06:38:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/focuspressblog.com\/?p=1948"},"modified":"2016-03-23T01:38:24","modified_gmt":"2016-03-23T06:38:24","slug":"its-never-okay-to-leave-the-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2016\/03\/23\/its-never-okay-to-leave-the-church\/","title":{"rendered":"Why It’s Never Okay to Leave the Church"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Brad Harrub, Ph.D.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the past decade parents have shared countless stories of their children\u00a0leaving the faith\u2014so many that they have begun to blur together in\u00a0my mind. There is the woman whose daughter dated a young man who\u00a0took her away from the church, and then having accomplished removing\u00a0her from the church, he left her. There is the man who literally had to sit\u00a0down for several minutes and catch his breath he was crying so hard revealing\u00a0that two of his children were now lost.<\/p>\n

There are so many\u2026 (I wish\u00a0I had written them down and kept a journal). There were children who never\u00a0really engaged in the first place, and then there were those who were\u00a0active in everything the church offered, but the ending of the story is the\u00a0same. They are now lost. It\u2019s the elephant in the room that we don\u2019t talk\u00a0about. In every congregation I visit there are couples who know the pain\u00a0of a lost child (or children). Oh, we all know the elephant exists, but maybe\u00a0if we don\u2019t mention its presence, it will go away.<\/p>\n

While many leaders and preachers in the church refuse to admit there\u00a0is a problem, the evidence is right before our noses each week. In fact, in\u00a0many congregations there is a complete missing generation of Christians\u00a0in their 20s. The elephant is not going away. Instead, our lack of addressing\u00a0the situation and looking for real solutions is only making the elephant grow\u00a0bigger. We continue to do the same exact thing, expecting a different\u00a0result. Because after all, if we talk about it then some might feel we are\u00a0\u201cjudging\u201d their past parenting choices. Or worse, they may leave the church\u00a0building feeling sad.<\/p>\n

It is time we wake up, church! It is time we admit the old system is\u00a0broken. And it is time we as a body of believers roll up our sleeves and\u00a0look for realistic solutions.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I intend to teach my children regarding leaving\u00a0the church.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I can assure you that on at least a few occasions there will be times\u00a0when you question whether you want to be associated with the church.<\/p>\n

For instance:<\/p>\n

It may be when the preacher forgets to visit you when you are\u00a0in the hospital.<\/p>\n

It may be when no flowers are sent when one of your\u00a0relatives dies.<\/p>\n

It may be when someone says something very hurtful in the foyer.<\/p>\n

It may be when someone pushes you out of their \u201carea\u201d like\u00a0the audio\/visual booth because that is \u201ctheir domain.\u201d<\/p>\n

It may be when a youth minister talks condescendingly to\u00a0you as a parent.<\/p>\n

It may be when your preacher begins repeating sermons because\u00a0of lack of preparation.<\/p>\n

It may be when an elder begins to \u201clord\u201d his position over the flock.<\/p>\n

It may be when the congregation splits over personalities\u00a0and emotions.<\/p>\n

It may be when a new preacher arrives who for whatever\u00a0reason doesn\u2019t warm up to your family.<\/p>\n

It may be when a deacon dismisses your ideas and suggestions.<\/p>\n

It may be when you feel like the congregation has grown cold\u00a0and sterile.<\/p>\n

It may be when you feel like every one is in a clique and you are\u00a0always on the outside looking in.<\/p>\n

It may be when a song leader refuses to sing songs you love to sing.<\/p>\n

It may be when a Christian borrows something and never returns it.<\/p>\n

It may be when the eldership gives in to the desires of some of the\u00a0members rather than standing up for what is right.<\/p>\n

It may be when your children are hurt because of the actions\u00a0of others.<\/p>\n

But whatever the reason, never ever leave the church! God had a\u00a0perfect plan before the foundation of the world (1 Peter 1:20; Ephesians\u00a01:4; see also 2 Timothy 1:8-9). Here is the reality\u2014God designed a perfect\u00a0church and Jesus Christ founded it. However, that church is comprised\u00a0of imperfect people. Some of those people will hurt you. Some may let you\u00a0down. Others may stir up feelings of anger. But never forget that you too\u00a0are imperfect. You will, on occasion, let others down. You will also hurt\u00a0people and may cause feelings of anger.<\/p>\n

You have witnessed first-hand the sadness and hurt that your mom and\u00a0I feel each time we hear about someone we know who has children who\u00a0have left the church. The very thought of it rocks us to our core, and\u00a0reminds us once again what our job on this earth truly is. Understand that\u00a0should you ever make the decision to leave, I will not just watch you go.<\/p>\n

I will be by your side teaching, crying, admonishing, and when necessary,\u00a0rebuking you, in an effort to bring you back. I will encourage your siblings\u00a0to reach out to you in love and help bring you back as well. I will not rest\u00a0until you are back in the fold. When I finally lay down to take my last breath,\u00a0the only thing I really want to think about in that moment is that my\u00a0children (and grandchildren) are all faithful\u2014and thus I will see them again\u00a0one day soon.<\/p>\n

As you seek to find your place in the body, you need to do all you can\u00a0to get along with those around you. Paul admonished, \u201cI, therefore, the\u00a0prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which\u00a0you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering,\u00a0bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit\u00a0in the bond of peace\u201d (Ephesians 4:1-3). Find your place in the body\u00a0and get busy serving Him rather than focusing on all the imperfections\u00a0around you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Brad Harrub, Ph.D. In the past decade parents have shared countless stories of their children\u00a0leaving the faith\u2014so many that they have begun to blur together in\u00a0my mind. There is the woman whose daughter dated a young man who\u00a0took her away from the church, and then having accomplished removing\u00a0her from the church, he left her. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1263,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20,46,32,66],"tags":[145,49,51,384,706,54],"class_list":["post-1948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","category-children","category-church","category-think-excerpts","tag-brad","tag-church","tag-faithfulness","tag-lost-generation","tag-membership","tag-youth","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy It's Never Okay to Leave the Church - Focus Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/tampaseo.expert\/focus\/2016\/03\/23\/its-never-okay-to-leave-the-church\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why It's Never Okay to Leave the Church - Focus Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Brad Harrub, Ph.D. In the past decade parents have shared countless stories of their children\u00a0leaving the faith\u2014so many that they have begun to blur together in\u00a0my mind. 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